When an idea floats by in my brain, I have to write it down. If I managed to remember all the good thoughts that pop into my head I would be named Einstein 2. That is why I have started writing down as many ideas as I can.
I have notes and voice memos on my phone and computer, and sticky notes on my desk, and paper for homework so I have no excuse to let any idea escape. I am still not fast enough at writing down my ideas. On top of that, many of my ideas come as I am trying to fall asleep. If I get up to write them down then I have a more difficult time at falling asleep.
The other day I composed a poem/rap that was approximately 75 lines long but I only have a vague idea of what it was about now. The state of mind that I need to be in to rhyme so many words in a pattern that makes sense is only available when I am meditating or on the edge of sleep. The time of consciousness where I can refine and perfect my poetry is only when I am fully awake and present.
The balance between having new, inspiring ideas and actually building on those ideas is hard to strike. Any company, such as Google, would want their workers to have good ideas and find solutions to problems as often as possible, but they also want those ideas to result in something. Google has tried to create a perfect work environment, with lots of inspiration to come up with ideas, and places easily accessible to write down ideas.
Other parts of this environment make refining these ideas easier. Over all, the environment that they try to create does three things: stimulate ideas, record ideas, and perfect ideas. If those ideas are not recorded, then the final goal would never be reached.
One thing that I have found about writing down ideas is that I can think better with my hand and my brain than just my brain. By making charts and organizing my thoughts I can find what’s missing or what I do not need. I learned this from my mom; she would make charts about everything!
Another way that writing things down can help is in memorization. When I play my cello, I sometimes continually miss notes or dynamics (like every other musician). By writing them into the music again or in a different way it allows me to remember the correct thing much more easily. Sometimes I can even just pretend to write to get the advantage that I need. By going through the motions with my hand, I basically write in invisible ink that my brain can read.
If someone were to ask me for advise about pretty much anything, I would tell them to get a piece of paper and write things down. It clears the mind of the details and lets it conquer the important stuff.

After watching the movie Revolver (a great movie) for the third time, I realized what it was about (spoiler alert) and I started thinking about egos. The movie brought up a good point that your only enemy is yourself. I thought about all the people or things that I may call enemies and I realized that it is all in my head. For every situation there was either an easy way to get around the problem or I had made the situation up completely. For example, I thought of my constant enemy, excessive nervousness, and how I have little to no reason to be worried about what ever I am worried about. There is no point in worrying because if I had control over what I was worrying about then I would control it, if I didn't have control then there was no reason to worry. That enemy only existed in my head so my only enemy is myself. The movie relates that enemy to a persons ego.
The common perception of someone with a big ego is someone who is full of themselves and sure that they are better than anyone else. For me a person with a big ego is trying to protect themselves and to gain approval from other people. This search for approval and jealousy, which is a product of our weird brains (along with worrying about things we can't control), can take control of a person and create their enemies. As I wrote in the first paragraph, my enemies are made up in my head and it was my ego that created them. If I could reduce the size of my approval-seeking ego I would reduce the number of enemies I think I have. This would make life easier. I would have fewer things to stress me out and I would be happy a lot more of the time. Basically I have to be more sure of myself; from doubt comes egos.
If everyone contradicted their ego's as Jake did at the end of Revolver, the world would be a happier, more peaceful place.

I am more motivated than ever to pursue art (music, video, drawing, and writing) but I am not motivated to learn my calculus formulas or any of my school work. I am trying to put as much of my non-homework energy into editing and exploring ideas as I can, but I am occasionally sucked into the tunnel that leads through the infinity of procrastination and the Internet.
I have managed to start editing my own song using sounds I recorded around my house, mostly cello. I am using GarageBand to start off since I know some awesome projects that have come out of the free program. I learned how important a metronome is for recording. I had a lot of tracks that almost fit together.
I have also been exploring the depths of my imagination through painting/drawing with my brush pen that I got for Christmas. After the piece that I posted here a few weeks ago, I have managed to create another similar piece that was not so good and most of a better piece that uses the white of the page to my advantage and not only the darkness making patterns. Hopefully I will let my busy brain finish with the newest painting and show it off!
I am really looking forward to the new levels of art and inspiration that this spring will bring me and I hope that I don't forget about my classes!

Ski racing, like anything, has its ups and downs. These sin waves seem to make a pattern for me: up when I'm skiing and racing, and down when I'm preparing for races, worrying about races, spending so much time at races, and resting for races. When I do not have a good race, the downs out weigh the ups. When I have a good race, like I did today at the Eastern Cup in Stowe, I cannot imagine spending my time in a different way.
I need to learn the psychology of athletics and racing. I have gotten much better than when I couldn't eat for 24 hours before a small race, but I still have a ton of baggage dragging behind me around the course. I am one of those weird people that skis way faster when I'm skiing for fun than when I'm racing against the best skiers in the nation. The word race turns a lap of a course into a completely different game.
Well, that baggage describes how I would describe most of the races I've done this year. I am inspired to cut this baggage loose whenever I see other juniors and seniors in high school, my competition, at the races. They seem to attack the trail with the power and grace that I only have when I’m away from the race course. That is my mission for then next few weeks: figure out whats hidden in my brain.

I am frightened by the dark cloud;
the cloud between the goal
and the people who refuse
to help the earth to be
the place of beauty it is meant to be.
I am frightened by mud
on a January day.
I am frightened by the sight
of a Robin
way too early in the year.
I am frightened by the heat
that wind cannot blow away.
I am haunted by the begging
of the people beaten by the storm.
The storm that rages
beyond the scope
of any that have been scoped before.
I am spurred to action
in hopes of conquering my fears.
From growing up green,
with compost and solar panels and a 1st gen. Prius,
I am ready for a solution.
My generation should be the last
to fight for the allure
that I have found
in mountains,
fields,
deserts,
ice,
and life.